Chronicles of a Confused Chicano in China

I can access the internet again!

Yeah!

Hek

Merry Xmas!

Hek 

Congrats to the Humanaught and Maggz on their recent civil wedding registration! 

Hek 

I dropped by the Japanese street again this afternoon on my fruitless quest to find a copy of the sought after Borat. My first stop yield no viewable copies although they did have it, in Russian. 

Second stop teased me before giving me what I wanted. Very much like sex. I found a copy of the movie, in English but in DVD 9 format which means that I would pay double the price. Again, much like sex, why pay for it when if you apply yourself you can get it for cheap or free!

I looked around some more and in a bin of japanese porn I found a copy of Borat in the coveted DVD Cheap format which I have grown accustomed of viewing. After I asked the DVD Pirate Bootlegger to preview the copy, I prematurely blew my wad...uh, I mean emotions. SCORE!  

Now comes the final test. Waiting to see if my DVD player at home can play the DVD!

Hek 

I haphazardly reported yesterday that I found a copy of Borat yesterday in Suzhou. Although that is TRUE, it is unwatchable unless I fly to Moscow and enroll in Russian language classes for the Borat copy that I recieved is in RUSKY! 

The search continues.....

 Hek

NEWS ALERT!!!!

 I finally found a copy of BORAT! Mark the date folks, December 12th. So it took the pirates of the underground nearly a month to get it out on the street. My my, how standards have fallen. 

Hek

P.S. No sign of Jackass 2! 

Newsboys coming to Suzhou. info at Suzhouexpats or Boscoho

Ha ha ha. This is a real laugh by the way. I am actually laughing while typing this words.

The Newsboys in Suzhou. This is gonna be good and by good i mean bad, not the bad where is means good.

I might go just to throw some baozi at them.

Hek

Movie: Borat

Still no pirated copies of Borat around Suzhou. I have checked out all the usual places. Japanese street with its 5RMB copies. The two shops near the Sheraton. Only place I will not go is Rock Station coz that poser who runs it is a creep. Lets see. According to predictions by AnotherLaoWai.blog, we should take certain factors into account when accertaining when a pirated copy of a new movie will flood the market in Suzhou (mainland China for that matter)

1. Is the movie an academy award nominee. While Borat certainly isn't, the Academy Awards receives advanced copies of movies called "screeners" which some how make it to the hands of the DVD pirates. Arg matee!

2. Does the movie have world wide release? If so, DVD pirates may have bought out an entire showing in some obscure eastern European city and set up a camera on a tripod. The quality of these copies may not be fantastic, but atleast you don't get a row of heads at the bottom of the screen.

3. Will there be promotional screenings at film festivals before the movie is release to a larger audience? You can certainly expect a copy showing up quick. Culprites orpartners in crime include desperate film festivals that sell out their screenings to mainland media companies such as Wangs World of Bootlegs.

4. Is there an expected demand for your movie. I blame the Hollywood promotional machine for this because while being in China does not mean I am immune to the onslaught. As summer, Thanksgiving, Ground Hogs day or any other season when major titles are expected to be released, the advertisments heat up on both sides of the Pacific. Take for example Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Mans Chest. It took no longer than 3 days from release date to arrival in Suzhou DVD shops. While the quality of these movies may be horrendous, they improve quickly, usually on a weekly basis.

Borat. Where the hek are you? We are waiting for your arrival in Suzhou.

Hek

Venkatesh didn't have to go to the South Side of Chicago to witness Getto Capitalism. All I have to do to witness the accounts that he mentioned is look out my window. Call it Suzhou Style Capitalism, with a twist or nipple tweek.

If your like me and you hate to plan your weekend according to what the weather looks like on tuesday, my colleague at peoplesrepublicofBLOG informed me of a kick ass weather website for Suzhou. While is may not be your fathers Farmer Almanac, it does the job well. However, the website is cluttered and full of additional links, logos, graphics and such that it gives the site a terrible visual appearance. Much like looking in the mirror for some people from Virgina.

Website: http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=suzhou

Hek El Chikano